Godliness With Contentment

This morning I read an excellent post by Lucy Ann Moll, the second in her series on rest, entitled, Add Margin To Your Life.  My response, in essence, was, “I have spent a lot of time creating margin in my life… I need great blocks of un-pressured time alone to function well. I’d rather spend the morning hours attuned to God, thinking, writing, gazing out the window, and listening to the birds than to be up and about cleaning the house. So I live with a few dust bunnies. I’m happier this way. I figure that when I lay on my death bed, I won’t be thinking about how well I kept my home, but I will be thinking about Jesus.”

As I relaxed in my chair, gazing out the open window to our freshly mowed lawn with the bird bath sparkling in the sun, God showed me a precious gift given me, the gift of godly contentment. I realized that I am living the life for which I’d prayed these many years: being at home 24/7 with resources sufficient to provide for our needs and some of our wants, an old house and beautiful grounds with plenty of room for creativity, work, rest, and play, someone to love (my mom) who, like the cats, naps most of the day and all through the night, affording me plenty of un-pressured time to myself and God.

Days like today, with blue skies and green lawn, birds twittering and squirrels playing, I’m content. This old house needs a new roof and better insulation, but not today. These necessities, like so many others that used to worry me, are safely in God’s hands. Not only is He fully aware that we need them, but He knows exactly when we need them. I give thanks for today.

In the past I’d dreamt of winning the lottery so I could build and furnish a perfect house to come home to in between world travel and important philanthropic engagements. But “you caaaaan’t win if you dooooon’t enter”!

Winning the lottery is a fantasy. It’s fun to think about, but far from reality. I don’t buy lottery tickets because I’m certain God’s will for me does not include winning, therefore, it would be poor stewardship of my dollars, precious and few as they are, to give them away to such an unworthy cause. Besides, if God wants to give me a-whole-lotta-money, He doesn’t need the lottery to do it.

Truth is, the prayers I’ve prayed over the years have not been about winning the lottery. They’ve been about this, this life I’m living now, here at home.  A life in worldly obscurity, but significant in God’s eyes. Faith lived out in daily doses, taking care of my mom, blogging, doing yard work and house cleaning, budgeting creatively, serving our church family, and playing catch the kitty with our three felines. This is godliness with contentment.

 ”Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1 Timothy 6:6-10).

Thank you, Father, for this beautiful gift. Amen.

“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow; praise Him, all creatures here below; praise Him above, ye heavenly host; praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost” (words from Awake, My Soul, And With The Sun by Thomas Ken, 1674; music by Louis Bourgeois, 1551).

***Image of girl with dandelions via http://dreamstime.com; cornfield & bovine images mine.

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh…’ “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7b-10).

**Moon Jellyfish

I’m not particularly fond of feeling weak. I prefer to feel in control, that the reins of the horse are firmly in my hands. I like to know I’m steering myself in the direction I want to go.

It’s an illusion, of course. Life happens, as they say, when we’re making plans. The marathon runner who experiences a heart attack understands this very well.

Ultimately, God is in control of life and circumstance despite the human penchant for deluding ourselves into thinking we’ve got the power. Human beings are completely dependent on God, whether we choose to submit or not. And God is no vending machine. He cannot be manipulated into doing our will. We can’t just put in a prayer to pull out a blessing. To know God is to love Him and to love God is to obey Him, not the other way around.

In all circumstances, we are to give thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:13).

As most of you know, my mind is hardly a steel trap; it’s more like a colander. Chunks of life stay with me, but  the details run right out at the bottom. Indeed, there are holes, little ones, in my thinking and memory. It’s a daily reminder that I am not in control of my life.

MCI does not prevent me from functioning, but it does interfere to varying degrees, with how easily or how well I perform. It’s a weakness, a difficult circumstance that God has permitted in my life.

Take Bible Study Fellowship, the women’s group that meets monthly at my house. When I’m trying to teach the lesson, I find I have to backtrack constantly because I’ve forgotten where I was going. I forget what I’m saying as I’m saying it and end up stumbling over my own words while scrambling to remember.  The result is that I repeat myself again and again. Even though the women in our group are patient and loving, It’s still a bit embarrassing.

That’s one of the reasons I’ll never be a speaker and why I strongly prefer writing. Blogging enables me to read and re-read what I’ve written, making corrections as I go and keeping myself on track.  It does, however, take me all day to write a blog post. Gone are the days when I can complete a writing task in an hour or two.

But here’s God’s power at work in my weakness. While I grope my way through the Bible study by repetition, interruption, and disfluencies like ‘uh” and “um”, God’s message gets through. What He wants to say comes out, whether it is through my mouth or someone else’s. Sometimes it’s not at all what I’d planned to say and sometimes it is, but every time the group is edified, encouraged, and challenged to exercise faith through obedience. God’s grace proves sufficient every time.

And that, my friends, is why I crow about my weakness and difficulty, for when I am weak, then I am strong. My part is to persevere in the calling God has placed upon my life to lead and teach, his part the results. I am grateful for this thorny circumstance, because it has enabled me to trust and love Him even more. In the midst of struggles, I enter God’s rest.

It is the same for you. Concern yourself with obeying God in faith and leave the results to Him.  Trust Him with your life and you will find rest for your soul. It is when you are weak that you will find He is strong and true.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

**Image via dreamstime.com

No Matter Where You Go

*

It’s been said before: No matter where you go, there you are. Grin.

No matter where I go, there I am. And there she is too, sticking to me like tar on a roof.

Wherever I go, she’s there, that self-centered, broken-down, worn-out, noisy, disreputable, egotistical, judgmental, foul-mouthed, tear-stained, thorny sin nature of mine. Every day the old bag follows me no matter how many times I try to coax her into staying home.

I tell her all the time, “Be quiet.  Wait your turn.  Be nice. Let it go. Stop griping. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” but she doesn’t listen! Instead she hurls the meanest words at those closest to her, opening her big mouth when she ought to keep it shut.  She lets harsh words fly instead of speaking gently.  She is petty when she should be patient, and self-righteous when she ought to be compassionate. What a shrew!

She always thinks she’s right and she always has to have the last word! Have you any idea of what it’s like to have to listen to her argue endlessly with my mom over who’s right? It’s like the demented leading the demented. I tell her to let things go, but she just has to be the Queen Bee. At these times, I can quote Scripture until I’m blue in the face and still she insists on doing everything her way. It’s maddening. I get tired of trying to keep her behavior in check.

“She drives me crazy

like no one else.

She drives me crazy,

I can’t help myself.

She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals, 1989

I’ll give her this: She usually confesses these sins to God and those whom she has hurt.  But like I always say, “It would be ever so much better if you would just behave yourself.  It’s better to behave than to say “sorry” all the time.

I have to keep a strict eye on her, making her rest when she’s tired because if I don’t she gets picky and irritable, then lets her emotions fly off the handle.  Before I know it, she’s making statements like, “It’s my way or the highway!” or “What have you done for me lately?” I especially hate it when she’s bossy and unkind to those in my care.

*

Sometimes she sleeps for the longest time, but then something happens to wake her up and BOOM! She’s back to being Little Miss Nasty Pants, perpetually up on the wrong side of the bed.

I wish she’d get it together, but Father says she won’t.  He says she has terminal Peter Pan syndrome.  ”But the good news,” he says, “is that in Me, you have all the strength you need to gain the upper hand. The key is Me. I will help you conquer Little Miss Nasty Pants.  Abide in Me and I will take care of the rest.”

*

Yes, Lord. Just knowing Father is on my side makes all the difference.  And it is true that I get the better of the Queen Bee a lot more than I used to do.  Best of all, Father says he’ll never leave me nor forsake me. Now I’m sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see yet:

Everything will be ok. No matter where I go.  No matter where you go, too. You know it.

*Photo Credit: http://dreamstime.com

Looky What I Got!

Looky, looky what I got from Kaye Swain of SandwichINK:

kreativ blogger award via Simply Sandwich and SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation     and    lovely-blog award via Simply Sandwich and SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation !

Encouraging. Inspiring. Awesome. Thanks, Kaye!

These appreciation “awards” are given by one blogger to another to encourage and support one another in the honorable manner of paying it forward. There are a few rules, which I’ve simplified:

Say thank you.

Provide a link back to the giver’s site.

Follow his or her blog and mention it!

Pass the awards on to others.

Simon Leong, self-described “passionate food blogger and international cuisine lover”  researched and wrote about the origin of the Kreative Blogger award. While appreciative of the award, he mentioned its likeness to a chain letter.  Now I really dislike chain letters, but I also really like to feel appreciated, so I chose to receive it with glee and pay it forward.
I’m conferring upon the following bloggers the Kreative Blogger award:
1. Bonnie Gray of Faith Barista for her insightful, uplifting, love-filled writing.
2. Nikole Hahn of The Hahn Hunting Lodge for her passionate prose that digs deep into the human heart.
3. Kathy Howard of Kathy Howard: Unshakeable Faith For LIfe because, whether walking or talking, she is always, always in the Word.
4. Sheila Wray Gregoire of Sheila Wray Gregoire: Speaker, Author, Mom for her courage and integrity in discussing the difficult issues of love, marriage, and family.
5. Melinda Todd of Trailing After God for her humor-tinged, down-to-earth wisdom and huge heart after God.
6. Elaine W. Miller of Splashes Of Serenity who spreads the fragrance of Christ wherever she goes, in word and deed.
7. Patricia Hunter of Pollywog Creek for her grace and kindness to the people and the world God created as seen through the lens of her camera’s eye.
CONGRATULATIONS!

 

        Photo Credit: http://dreamstime.com

Put Away Your Childish Things

 

When I was a child, I thought like a child.

  • I wanted to be a famous movie star so that no one could say I was unpopular.
  • I wanted to be a model so that no one could say I was ugly.
  • I wanted to be a scientist so that no one could say I was stupid.
  • I wanted to discover a cure for cancer so that no one could say I was insignificant.
  • I wanted to be a great artist so no one could say I was untalented.
  • I wanted to get married and have a family so that no one could say I was unloved.

What I never wanted was to be comme ci, comme ça.

Mediocre.

Average.

Ordinary.

Nothing turns out the way we think it should.

For this I am grateful.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a [woman], I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

The essence of identity is not found in looks, ability, talent, accomplishments, or any other finite thing. These things are relative in nature, whose significance is easily overtaken by time and the inevitable ‘better’ person. I will never discover my true value in the things I have or the things I do, for the heart of these is fickle.  Who I am is far more important than what I do.

So who am I? For that matter, who are you?

Can you answer that question without describing what you do?  Stop for a moment and think this through.

Thinking…

My name is Diane and I’m a child of God.

The essence of our value resides not in ourselves, but in the person of Jesus Christ, in whose image God created and is transforming us.  In Christ we find our true identity and value because Jesus is “the brightness of [God's] glory and the express image of His person” (Hebrews 1:3).  We are being made like Christ who is the mirror of God. We are God’s children.

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).

People matter to God. Whether you become great in the world’s eyes or merely live an ordinary life, you matter.  Your value is inestimable. Christ died for you.

It’s time to grow up in Christ. It’s time to put away childish things.

“Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them” (John 14:19-21).

Father, help us to put away our childish things.  Help us to live as we are- your children. Teach us to follow you and obey your commands, for we love you.  Amen.

Step Away From That Diet: An Interview With Sundi Jo Graham

I want what I want when I want it.

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.

Some people call this knowing my own mind. I might know my own mind, but it’s the heart that’s deceitful above all else and desperately wicked. Who can know it? And the heart wants what it wants.

Same thing with our stomach. I want to eat tasty things, like chocolate, melted cheese, sour cream, and oven-heated chimichangas.  That’s just me. You’ve got your own high-calorie, low nutrition favorites.  Our tummies cry out for food, while our greedy hearts demand satisfaction through indulgence in sugar, salt, and fat.  What we don’t pay attention to is the fact that food can never fully satisfy the true longing of our hearts.  The heart is hungry until it finds its fill in God. 

I’ve never been one to diet, whether in eating or spending.  Telling myself no has not been an established habit of mine.  Regret is more in keeping with the person I’ve acted like. I’ve been eating what I want when I wanted it only to regret it later.  The scale doesn’t lie.  Nothing lost, but a whole lot gained over the past few years.

That’s all changing now. God has been transforming me, from the inside out. He is teaching me to find my heart’s satisfaction, like my salvation, in Christ alone. There are some things he has used to help me on my way. I wrote about Lysa Terkeurst‘s book, Made To Crave in a previous post. It has been instrumental in helping me to find my “want to”.  Those of us who’ve been up and down the scale know how badly we need help from all quarters.  I’ve recently discovered another source of encouragement in the form of a FREE ebook, Step Away from that Diet: Ten Steps To Losing Weight and Gaining the Confidence You’ve Been Searching For by Sundi Jo Graham.  It’s simple and concise, yet chock-full of practical wisdom. Because I liked it so much, I simply had to interview Sundi Jo. Here are the results:

Tell us about your ebook and what you hope to achieve through it. 

“People are always asking me about my weight loss. How I did it, do I have tips, etc?  I was always hesitant to share because I wanted to make sure I was actually doing this thing. God said “Go for it.” So here I am. I want to let people know through Step Away from that Diet that weight loss is possible without dieting or surgery. I want to share what worked for me and what can work for them if they use the 10 steps I provided. I give a very straight forward approach to weight loss. There are no secrets to follow. I want others to walk in their new journey as I have been able to. I want them to look in the mirror with confidence, not only because of what they see on the outside, but also what they see on the inside. I want to help others change lives, not just drop pounds.”

Did you experience any major setbacks on your weight-loss journey?

“Not during the weight loss. But I have certainly encountered setbacks in the after process. Some health issues make it harder to keep the weight off. Only until recently have I been able to get back into the gym full-time. But God has really taken great care of me, in not allowing all that weight to come back on. I have still made healthy eating decisions for the most part.”

Do you seriously fear that one day you might start packing on the pounds again? How do you deal with this? 

“Yes. Sometimes that fear still starts to creep up. I have come to terms with the reality that I can never go back to where I was. I have to continue to make smart decisions and exercise.  Staying accountable really helps me with that fear. Not only do I know that I can never go back to the person I was, but I have friends and family that won’t let that happen either.”

Now that you’ve developed this healthy lifestyle, do you still have days when you just want to eat more than you should? What do you do? 

“Oh yes! Especially when I’m stressed. The first thing I want to do is eat. Some days I just do it out of habit. I still don’t get it right every time. I’m a fast eater, which I’m trying to work on, so I still find myself scarfing down food because I don’t give myself enough time to get full. That’s why staying accountable is important. If I start to feel like I’m getting out of control, I log what I’ve eaten and send it to my accountability partners. I’m far less likely to eat things I shouldn’t if I know others will know about it.”

What do you do for exercise during inclement weather? 

“I’m busted on this one! I tend to use it as an excuse not to exercise, which I need to knock off! But when I’m not making excuses, I like to do Yoga. It’s excellent for the body, and if you don’t have a DVD, all you need is YouTube.”

Fill in the blanks: “Before, I used to overeat because of _____________ (eg: boredom, anxiety, stress, new emotional hurts, sadness, anger, frustration), but now I ______________ (run, drink water, journal, call my friends, scream, etc). Explain. 

“Because of all the above really. Definitely emotional hurts. I also ate to celebrate. But now I journal, call my friends, exercise, pray. What I don’t talk a lot about in the ebook is why I was so overweight. That was my way to protect myself. I decided at a young age, after being sexually molested, that I couldn’t trust anyone and I was tired of letting people get close to me. Eating was a protector for me. The heavier I got, the more people couldn’t get “inside” to know the real me.”

How greatly does prayer and relying on God factor into your weight-loss journey? 

“It must come first. The days I start to get out of control are the days I soon realize that I was trying to do this journey myself and not with God. I just recently did a 21 Day Daniel Fast because I could feel myself starting to get out of control. I started using the excuse that because it was yogurt, it was healthier and i could have it more. I was craving chocolate like never before and was trying to fight the urge to avoid it myself. That is, when I tried to avoid the urge at all. During the fast, I told myself, “Well, everything’s healthy. I can have as much as I want.” But God reminded me that I was still out of control. He had to bring me back to self-control. It’s a constant struggle for me really. When I first started running two years ago, before I even got close to the treadmill I would pray, “God, I can’t do this on my own. I need your strength.” And he provided. I felt so connected to Him when I was running because I knew it was Him and not me. One more thing I could say about that, is don’t let your emotions tell what you should do. I don’t always want to work out because I don’t “feel” like it. I have to ask myself what the truth is about that situation. Will I feel better? Am I taking care of God’s temple? Am I being obedient? I don’t always trust truth over feelings, but I’m so much better than I used to be.”

Words of wisdom. Thanks, Sundi Jo, for sharing your heart with us. It’s always encouraging to know that others have struggled through the same dark tunnel and are breathing free at the other end. May the Lord bless you as you seek to do His will.

Friends, here again is the link to Sundi Jo’s ebook: http://www.sundijo.com/stepawayfromthatdiet/

Father, teach us to find our heart’s desire in you alone.  Teach us to say no to ourselves when we seek satisfaction in food, shopping, or anything other than you.  Help us to taste and see that You are good.  Amen.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him (Psalm 34:8).

Photos via dreamstime.com

Puberty Is A Riptide

yeah, you'd have given your eye teeth back in school to have looked as pretty as this girl

The years from thirteen to fifteen are the worst years in a girl’s life.  Everything goes wrong.  Nothing works like it should.  Your legs go one way, your arms and head another. You trip over the mat, your feet, or nothing at all.  You long to be a cheerleader, but without warning you’ve morphed into the town klutz. Strange and unkind things begin to happen to your body. You perspire and all the world can smell you. Your breath is rotten-apple fresh, your skin bumpy, and your hair stringy. You grow weird hairs in the strangest of places and nobody tells you to refrain from shaving your legs when they’re dry. Ouch.

When you’re pubescent, you get your period and nobody bothers to mention that it won’t go away after a day or two just because you’re bored with it.  And you have to tell your mother that you started your period and need Kotex – the absotively-posilutely, most horribly embarrassingly awful conversation in the world – and you simply cannot, will not, say those humiliating words out loud so it goes something like this:

“Ma.”

“What?”

“Ma, I need … something.”

“What, dear? What do you need?”  Mother is busy washing dishes and barely listens.

“Mouse mattresses.” This, coming from a joke you heard once.

“Mouse mattresses?”

“Yeah, you know- mouse mattresses.”

“Mouse… mattresses?!”  Mother pauses, her hands still in the dish pan, and turns to look at you like you’ve got devils dancing on your head.

“You know…I got my… you know… mouse mattresses.” Your face and neck are beat red and you can’t meet her eyes.

“Mouse matt…oh!  You mean feminine napkins!  She pronounces it like she’s skipping along carrying a basket of flowers and singing a song of violets and daisies. You scream a little as she sweetly sings the horrid truth.

“Yes!”  The admission kills you and you run screaming from the room to hide in your bedroom until it’s safe to come out again.  Said mother goes out and buys you a box of Kotex and you look everywhere but at the box or your mother when she hands it to you.

That’s the same year you want so badly to start wearing a bra so when the family goes shopping for school clothes, you immediately locate the bra display and stand in front of it for as long as possible, hoping mother will notice.  When she does and asks, “Do you want a bra this year?” you respond in your best rendition of studied nonchalance, “Well, I think I should.  After all, everyone else is.”  Inside your head you’re screaming with joy.

Puberty changes everything.  For the most part, you don’t know where you are anymore and haven’t a clue which way to go.  It carries you out with the tide, and of course nobody mentions that puberty is a riptide so when you find yourself struggling to get back to shore, you only end up further out.  Nobody said to swim sideways, parallel to the shore. Before long, you’re barely treading water and drowning has become an almost tangible possibility.

Without warning, everything, and I mean everything, is embarrassing.  Your family, your house, your clothes, the way you walk and the way you talk are all highly awkward and you become fraught with anxiety at every sneeze, snort, or chuckle.  Even your dog turns into an embarrassing little beast who can’t keep his nose where it belongs.

You’ve outgrown your clothes by day two of puberty, but before that fact has a chance to register in your enormous, empty head, somebody at school decides, without telling you, that you are to be unfriended by everyone because your pants have become high waters and that is so uncool. So you walk into study hall all chatty and happy only to discover that no one will talk to you and you don’t know why until finally someone writes you a note, saying that Shannon, Kathy, Corrine, Laura, Sherry, Terry and Patty too, are MAD AT YOU and will no longer be your friends, then they all get up and move a few rows back.  Finally, after a day or two of excruciating agony and horror, they decide to take you back and when you ask, nonchalantly, why they were mad, they say, “We don’t like the way you dress.”  In your embarrassment, you get really mad and un-friend them all, choosing instead to go to the only group left in school, that rag-tag band of miscreants, some of whom are already wearing make-up, smoking, and having sex, which is to say they’re bad girls.  You forgive Terry and Patty because they ask you to, but you try to never talk to the others again, which is hard because a few years later, you are all on the cheerleading team together and they make fun of you behind your back. But that’s another story.

Once you recognize the damaging effects of wearing high waters and for that matter, plaid with stripes, you do whatever it takes to fix the problem.  Of course, you can’t get new jeans until the next school year, because your mother says, “If I do it for one, I’ll have to do it for all six of you and I can’t afford that.” so you do the next best thing.  You cut a few inches off some old khaki pants you hate and sew them to the bottom of your blue jeans.  You’re silly enough at that age to think that no one will notice, but they do, and so you go home to mother and cry and beg and plead and she finally notices how stupid you look with the khaki hem on blue jeans and buys you two new pairs.

Puberty makes you sweat and in more ways than one.  Anxiety is the prevalent atmosphere no matter where you are and perspiration hits your pits like a truck driver late for a cross-country drive.  You shower every day, sometimes twice a day, and slather your underarms with the best-smelling stuff you can find.  In fact, you’re so worried about appearing unclean that when the house is on fire, literally on fire, albeit mostly smoke, you hop in the tub to take a bath before the firemen arrive and when they try to get in the bathroom to use the water, you scream wildly until your mother comes upstairs and demands to know what the *^$)&(&(*$ you’re doing in the bathroom when the house is on fire.  So you get out and get dressed while everybody yells at you to hurry up.  You go downstairs and stand around watching the firemen going up and down the stairs and suddenly the whole experience is so terribly embarrassing and you burst into uncontrolled laughter while your mom runs in and out of the house saving your sister’s rented wedding dress.

Yes, puberty is a riptide. Thank the good Lord that you’ll never go through that again without swimming sideways.  Of course, there’s old age to look forward to.

Thank God He parts the waters for us now and then.  And now, a word from our sponsor:

“The waters saw you, God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.

The clouds poured down water,
the heavens resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.”

- Psalm 77:16-19

Photo Credit